Josh Is Back. Tell A Friend

Well......

I'M BACK BABY!!!!!

After a year long hiatus, I have finally returned to my blog. Faithful readers rejoice as I will aim to bring you these posts a little more often. I'm sure most of you will be happy, and if you are unsatisfied, I shall rip your pancreas out and feed it to my well trained Sea Lion who will then expel it from its anus only to be discarded onto a beach where I will drag you along to it and make you eat the excrement.

I write to you from the comfort of my own room, so there won't be an annoying brother walking past me, distracting me from my thoughts. He should rot in the fiery pits of Hades.

But I digress.

Today's topic: Young people.

Now I know this rant is long overdue but I’ve finally mustered up the creative energy to bring you this post.

Now let me tell you this, young people these days, are idiots. Now I'm not talking about specific people (Daniel Allcroft), I'm talking about the majority of these Generation Y and Z rejects.

Long gone are the days of writing a formal letter to ones friends, sealing the letter, stamping it and giving it to Postman Pat to deliver to said friends. These days it's all about texting and instant messaging. Now don't get me wrong, these forms of communication are genius. The way they use satellites to relay these forms of data from one device to another is comparable to the advent of pre-sliced bread. But the way in which these young people take advantage of this genius is both a disgusting and demoralizing treatment of the English language.

In Ye Ole Days, when one would write a letter, they would try to squeeze in every last detail they could onto the A4 piece of paper because it could be days or even months before the letter would reach the person. If you want to know more about those times, write to Gene and Garreth who still practice the after mentioned methods. Ah, those were they days....

But now, these "young people" are taking advantage of the new services and spouting pointless blabber in the form of "Txt tlk". These generations are destroying what is left of the beautiful English language (although the Welsh got there first). Eliminating vowels, replacing letters with numbers and removing words such as "the" and "a" is what disgusts me and makes me want to rip out their throats and urinate in their necks. For example:

"hi m8 hru? gon pub wna com?"

This literally translates to:

"Hello dear friend, I would like to know how you are this fine evening. Also I would like to inquire as whether you want to join me and the lads for an alcoholic beverage down at the saloon? I do say, we will get quite intoxicated and force ourselves into situations where we will sodomise each other because deep down we are homosexuals"

If I ever send a text message like that to someone, please, kill me. I will not tolerate lowering my standards to those of today's "young people".

That's all for today, join me next time as I continue to point out young people's literary problems.

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Until I blog again!

And as always…… I’m Awesome